Yellow bird on the tree, you better fly

One of the millions of projects that I have before school starts up again is to begin to build my family tree. My family has never been really big on family. The most contact that I've had with my maternal cousins are the sporadic Christmas cards chronicling new births and extremely big events that occur in the lifetime. I don't know the name of some of my father's sisters, which is shameful and just beyond pathetic if you ask me.

I forsee this being a difficult project, but difficult in the best way. It will force me to connect with family members with whom I've never spoken a word to, learn a bit about them, maybe even get to see pictures of what they look like. Hell, if everything goes smoothly, maybe I can assert some kind of inverse patriarchal command and put together some kind of family reunion in Louisiana.

Even though my knowledge of the paternal side is unforgivably shallow, I believe that that part of the family tree will be easiest to fill My father is from Lagos, Nigeria, thus my last name. The history should be less foggy as I pave through it.

I'm stirring up some strange thoughts. Should question my father's reasons for not attempting to teach me of the members of his family? Is my father afraid to tell me? Could he possibly believe that I wouldn't be interested? This is a big issue that we haven't discussed, and one of the benefits that I see this project providing. Or is it all my fault, because I didn't ask as I grew up? He and my mother are kind of loners when it comes to family, so I suppose it's to be expected. However, my mom has done a better job at educating me about my relatives, 98% of the crumbs of information that I know comes from my mother. But I want to know who's around.

Anyway, my mother is from Missouri. And my grandmother is from Louisiana. And my grandmother's grandmother was a slave. I've been praying that there were at least some kind of records kept, and praying even harder that they still exist in some capacity. It should be interesting as I try to unravel the mystery of my maternal side. I think my maternal grandmother is going to be my most valuable source of information. It'll be a good bonding experience.

I think one of saddest things about life is that we're so locked into our own time periods -- everything is wiped away unless an effort is made to document it. I feel lucky that we have the tools to try to uncover the past, but as a half-african, We have short memories. I can't remember everything that happened two days ago. Will I be remembered fifty years after my death?

So right now, I am not going to think about that, and try to revive the memories of my ancestors so that I will be able to teach my children where they come from.